I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. Even the most proper person has burped and sniffed on occasion; because these are common bodily functions, it's impossible to completely avoid doing them. Assume the best of your coworker. Ive had this happen with arm rests and scented lotions. And I find even mens deodorants to be strong enough that I can smell it when they walk by. Youve done your fair share in this situation, she is the one lacking. It sucked. My coworker sniffles ALL DAY LONG. Humidifier helped me, enormously with my constant sniffling!!! I lost a week of my life once because my husband used one of their plug ins. Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Allergies. Do not reply with anger just because the customer is being immature and working through their anger in an unhealthy way. Here is my most recent one. Long before this point, my response would have reverted to These are the products I use. I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. Its bullying. If she says the smell is on your scarf, but you have a new scarf, then Id get a second opinion. Agree. But scented deodorant? I am all about being considerate to the people around you, but Im having a hard time with this one too, because I agree that no one should be expected to change their home/weekend habits and change up all their products to accommodate a coworker. Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. I cant think of anything else that I can do. Sigh. I know my winter parka can definitely retain scents in the fur on the hood, so it might be something like that transferring scents? Ok, Ive got my asbestos underwear on, lets do this. I cant leave my clothes in my front loader over night or they smell bad (at least to me). does it? It's a personal issue and you won't like it but it needs addressing and I don't want you to react badly OK? I couldnt smell it approaching the rack, but it was very apparent in my home. Sniffing is a little less offensive, as people with colds or allergies frequently sniff throughout the day but do not do so to be rude. The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. This is so true. I agree that Alison has given you some very good advice and some good conversational points to start with. Carry an inhaler, epi-pen, etc., plan around it if you can I mean, its not like someone with that severe a reaction can force everyone in every public place they visit to use all scent-free products, so theyd still have to be able to cope with or have contingency plans for exposure to scent in places other than work, and maybe they need to extend those plans to the work environment too. Either way, the Rooster's passive approach allows them to maintain a level of deniability. Pause for a moment, look the colleague in the eye, and ask him in a calm and professional voice to repeat what he said. Shame and guilt. I think at this point and said above in more detail that its now time to do a the Voice type test to find out if the smell is part of the office, or settled in the mind of the coworker to the point that they smell it if its not there. Or florals or vanilla or whatever. Some infections present with unusual symptoms (like bad breath) or no symptoms at all. I am scent sensitive but not to all scents, and I have colleagues who are more sensitive than I but who can tolerate things I cant.). Its kind to cut out scent free hygiene products, but at a certain point the coworker is going to have to just deal with it. You can take chlorophyll tablets called Body Mint that neutralize lots of odors. Doesnt matter, its never clear and I cant stop sniffling. Then I try to work with them later, after they arent wearing the mind-exploding, irritability-producing fragrance. I guess people who are sensitive to it can smell it long after use. I dislike 99% of perfumes and am allergic to many but I dont go around making people feel like stinky people. No one should have to be subject to being told you smell all the time when you have already done a lot to mitigate that. She used to cry to me about how she is single and she even said to me once what is wrong with me? who CANNOT DEAL with the fact that a person doesnt eat cheese. Theyre going through chemo, they may as well have a pleasant food. OP, could that be the source? Plus I like the scents I have. Of not, then she can be moved to a less bothersome location. Many people have year-round reactions to indoor allergens such as mold, dust mites or animal dander. The rest of the visit I could not be in the same room, even though she stopped using it. The more sensitive people end up so isolated. Its possible the smell is lingering somewhere else or has another cause (from your handbag, or its actually the smell of your car air freshener, or something other than the original perfume). The funny thing is my mom uses patchouli, so I associate that particular scent with mom-ly ladies. Hippie/hipster stink is the common parlance. This woman is over the top. I had a similar experience with norovirus and a bacon and Stilton jacket potato; it was years before I could look Stilton in the eye again! Yeah. My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. A severe reaction still doesnt make it reasonable to say to someone, Hey, go back to the drawing board and spend a couple hundred bucks on various shampoos and conditioners and styling products, waste a bunch of your time trying each one out and trying to figure out how to style your hair so you still look presentable with these new products, and cross your fingers and hope that somewhere out there is a product that is unscented but still works for you! Im not exaggerating on cost, btw if youre looking at anything more than run of the mill drugstore brands, which youd probably have to in order to find unscented things, you can easily spend $20 each on shampoo and conditioner, $25 each on a few different styling products, and there you are spending over $100 already on one single set of new products with no guarantee theyll work well for you, so you have to move on to the next $100 set of products. Id refrain from wearing perfume to work, and from using scented soaps and lotions during the work week (or using them for date night, but then washing them off before bed). No one else can smell it. Agreed on the connotation, but I also note that its got some nice up-market uses as well; Chanels Coromandel is one of my favorite perfumes, and its built on a patchouli note. My husband had to calm me down. I really hope thats not it. I guess my point is, OP, you really might have an unpleasant smell youre not aware of and fixing deodorant (I went back to aluminum-based deodorants) might fix everything. ), Or, more likely, the company will discontinue it or reformulate and I will buy up every tub of the old stuff I can find and then spend another year or so searching for a replacement. ;). Here are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1. I HATE floral scents in virtually all forms, but I dont have severe allergies nor do I get migraines. Fine. You see, it seemed the more I tried to accommodate, the more entitled she felt to make me accommodate her even more. It seems pretty clear to me that she was referring to essential oils as a subset of perfume, and when she said she stopped wearing perfume she stopped wearing the oils too. Yes!! I'm glad to hear that some snifflers have experienced repercussions! My point is that maybe something similar is happening with OPs coworker and smells. ;). That's the end of it? About a month ago, one of my coworkers told me that the perfume I was wearing bothered her. Don't Lose Your Cool. Ive stopped wearing perfume, have switched to unscented deodorant, and I wash my clothes in unscented detergent. I let them know how exasperating the condition is, so they understand both that its not personal against them and that its serious stuff. I ended up leaving for another job. I think shes using bother in the I dont like it sense. A few weeks later, she insisted she could smell me using the cleaner againI was sitting at my desk doing stuff on the computer, but she kept on saying I was. He complained for months after we stopped using the detergent that we smelled like patchouli. Possibly the only personal anecdote less interesting than a story about a dream you had, that doesn't involve the listener. OP, I think the strongest scent I wear is from my shampoo/conditioner, and theyre as close to unscented as it can get. Im not allowed to wear headphones at work, but occasionally when the boss is out I sneakily put some on anyway and I can hear her sniffling even with white noise, pink noise, and any kind of music at full blast. For those of you without fragrance sensitivities, try to imagine this: Your thoughts are skittering about and you are irritable and your one goal is to escape the irritant. Theyre going to keep pushing and pushing until either they 100% get their way, or the person accommodating them says no, Ive done enough for you, thats all your getting., For the record, I love the phrase go pound sand. But, it might be that your area is still retaining some of the scents you were wearing previously. Although such handbooks often outline appropriate and inappropriate behavior, it's common knowledge that a bodily function such as loud burping is inappropriate. OP, Im someone who doesnt always do well with strong scents, and I think your coworker is acting like a jerk. Policy. If the coworker has a legit fragrance sensitivity than she needs to inform her manager and HR. Yes, I think this is a big difference too. I don't know what I would do without them some days. Which also reinforces my belief that your coworker can go walk off a pier. I stopped wearing everything and she says its me when the men in the office wear cologne and shave. Psychiatry 22 years experience. 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